Happy
by hope4laughsxX
Summary: Bella said yes to Edward when he asked her to mary him. the first time round


The Last Lullaby

**Happy**

By: Emma Farquharson

I still couldn't believe I was doing this. For a while I had stayed strong and told him no. Told him that it was wrong to me, to what I was taught. And yet here I was; staring at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes as Renee fluttered around me. They say your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life: but if that's true, then why wasn't I happy?

"You're beautiful," she complimented, lifting the veil to my head. "I'm so…_happy_ for you Bella."

"I find that hard to believe mom," I replied, sighing heavily and sitting myself down on the couch.

"Well, I'll admit that I'm not thrilled about you marrying this…_young_. But…you're happy. Right? You _are_ happy with him?"

"Of course mom: happy," I lied, smiling to her reassuringly. "You should get back to your row before people try and steal your seat."

"Yes I should. You know how Phil can be with saving me seats," she snorted.

"Well then you better get going," I said again, eager to be alone. She stared at me a moment, before reaching out, and wrapping her arms around me tightly.

"You've always been something special Bella. Ever since you were born," she said into my hair. "You've practically parented _me_ and now here I am saying goodbye. I feel like I'm the one who just graduated and is off to college here! It seems now as if I said goodbye to you when you left for Forks so long ago."

"Oh mom…"

"Don't oh mom me. I know I'm being ridiculous. I'll see you after breaks from Alaska, and I'm expecting letters and maybe even some whale blubber every once and a while." I chocked out a laugh beneath her arms, letting her warmth surround me. "But still Bella, I may not know why, but I feel like I'm saying goodbye to you forever. I'm wrong, right?" I couldn't answer her for the longest time. I wanted to do my very best to lie to her about seeing her all the time. About the letters I would send detailing all the friends I had made there. I wanted to tell her to lay off the sentimental stuff and let me go before I was smothered in her motherly love. But for some reason I just couldn't. All I could do was hug her even tighter, knowing that this hug might just be the last time I saw Renee in a long time. Maybe even the last time I would _ever_ be near her again. Finally I was able to just choke up a lie, letting her think that I was just too touched by her words to answer right away.

"Of course m-mom. I'll email and write as soon as I finish my schoolwork every day. This isn't…goodbye. I just…" I started, trailing off.

"Just what baby?"

"I just want to tell you that I love you mom. I really do."

"I know Bella. I know…" We were silent for another moment before Renee pulled us apart, leaning back to get a good look at me. "Well you've defiantly grown up from that awkward eight year old, prancing around the dance studio." I grimaced as I remembered both Renee's strongest memory of the studio versus mine.

"There's still no guarantee of a trip-less walk over to Edward…" I sighed, trying to force a laugh.

"I'll be praying for you."

"Oh we've gone back to church again? Just another passing habit?" I joked.

"We'll see," she winked. "Anyways, I better get back. I love you Bella, and I'm once again, truly happy for you. I'm glad you think you found him." She sounded a little sarcastic on the last bit of her farewell but I let it slide, knowing I couldn't keep her with me any longer.

"Thanks." She released me at last, and walked over to the door, sending one last meaningful glance at me before slipping away.

I let out a breath I had been holding and sighed. I lay back against the couch, letting my veil fall from my head. This was it. After today I would forever be tied to him, to _my_ Edward. Though I was about to be joined together forever, I couldn't help but feel alone. Could I really even do this? Yes I wanted to be with Edward; I could _never_ imagine being without him. Not again. And I knew he felt the same, if not stronger for me. So then what was the problem?

"You're just scared," a voice of bells sang to me. "And you really _should_ be ready by now Bella."

"Alice, you're not supposed to see a bride on her wedding day," I breathed, watching her as she glided over to me.

"Do you know _nothing_ about weddings? That saying goes towards the groom. Whom, might I add, looks as nervous as you," she said, smiling.

"Edward? Nervous? I don't even think I could imagine that," I laughed.

"It's quite annoying actually. He's already burned through two pairs of shoes from his pacing around at top speed."

"The church will have a field day is they find scuff marks on the floor. You know how this town is. They'll probably just charge Charlie for it, and god knows he doesn't have that kind of cash," I said.

"Don't worry, he thought about that. He's been thinking about a lot of things today, some of them as idiotic as a few guests in the audience," Alice replied.

"What thoughts?" I asked.

"He thinks you still might want to leave him at the alter. It was ludicrous to listen to him: going on and on about how he could accept you leaving. And that it was for the better. He does _love_ to whine about you."

"That's crazy I could never leave him! Plus you should be able to tell him that, _you're _the one who see's the future. Not me. Unless you've seen it already and I actually do…"

"I don't know what will happen today," Alice spat angrily.

"What do you mean you don't—" I began, cutting myself off as the realization hit. "He's here isn't he?"

"Front row center, along with Sam and Quil," she said coldly.

"Why would _they_ be here?" I asked, shocked by their appearance.

"Bella, just because we worked together one time, doesn't mean that they would trust us enough to send Jacob in unattended."

"Right…"

"Those _dogs_ better not mess up my decorations…" Alice hissed.

"I think that would be the last thing on their minds. Everything smells like you, and there are people everywhere. None of them would be that stupid."

"I could think of one who might be—"

"Alice, I don't want to go there. Not today." I interrupted.

"Sorry." We stayed silent for a while after that. Eventually Alice's impatience won over and she picked up the veil that had fallen behind me, placing it gently on my head. "May I?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Thanks," she mumbled as she stuffed bobby pins into her mouth and began to pin me down. "Bella may I ask you something?"

"Of course Alice. What stopped you before?" I replied.

"Might I ask why you heart seems to be aching?" she continued, ignoring my comment.

"You vampires and your built in heart monitors…" I grumbled.

"Well?"

"I guess I'm sad about some stuff," I answered, staring ahead at myself in the mirror.

"I figured that much. Is it because of Renee and Charlie?" she continued, doing her best to hide her sarcasm.

"Partially. Well, mostly yes. My mom just said some stuff that made me realize how _real_ this all is…" I sighed.

"So I heard."

"You really _should_ mind your own business," I said, glaring playfully.

"Oh come now. Like you didn't think that _all_ the Cullen's would be listening tonight. I'm sure Edward is as well."

"He _is_ one of those Cullen's," I agreed.

"Bella," Alice said, gliding over to kneel in front of me in her bridesmaid dress. "You don't have to do this. Edward, and all of us wont hate you for not going through with this."

"With the wedding? No, no I want the marry Edward—"

"I meant with tonight. You don't _have_ to change tonight. No one is pressuring you. We all understand how you may not be ready, and you know Edward would wait for you forever. Regardless of whether or not you stay without wrinkles. I'm just saying Bella, if you're not ready then—" This time it was my turn to interrupt her.

"I'm ready Alice. I'm scared senseless but I'm ready. I've wanted this for so long, and now I'm getting it. I'm just not used to getting my way with Edward over things like this. And I'm not used to saying goodbye to a whole _lifetime_. Or well…to what will be my _first_ lifetime." I stared at her desperately, searching her eyes for an answer that I would never find. "Ha…" I said, leaning back again. "I wonder how many brides have _these_ kinds of second thoughts."

"I wouldn't think very many."

"I want to be with him Alice. I want to have him as mine, _forever._ And I know now, that…I _will_. I think it's _that_ which is scaring me," I whispered. I looked up at her, expecting some sort of a sarcastic look, but all I saw was her blinding smile.

"That's all? I thought maybe you worried you were going to trip!" she giggled.

"That's a concern too."

"Always will be, I suspect. You'll be an _interesting_ vampire to say the very least."

"Well then let's find out for sure," I said. As I spoke, music began to play form the vestry. It was time.

"I think that's your cue," Alice smiled.

"I think so," I agreed. Alice handed me my flowers and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm looking forward to having you in the family. Just one thing," she said, a hint of amusement in her eye.

"Yes?"

"Keep it down tonight," she chortled.

"Oh Alice," I sighed, letting my stomach twist in discomfort.

"You ready?" Alice asked me suddenly. I paused a moment, glancing once more at the bride in the mirror. I pulled the veil over my face and smiled.

"Yeah. I'm ready."


End file.
